22 August 2003
Lagoon Cinema

NONPLUSSED is exactly the word that should describe your reaction to this movie. On the poster, the slogan reads: "A provocative new thriller from the director of 'Dangerous Liasons' and 'The Grifters.'" Pshaw . . . hardly. It is neither the "I see dead people" kind of thriller, nor the "trapped with an alien in a spaceship" kind of thriller. Instead, this is more like a sometimes quasi-suspenseful love story/morality play/comedy. Here's how it breaks down:

10% suspensful
36% love story
32% morality tale
22% comedy


The end result is like trying to have your cake and eat it too and donate it to a food shelf while jumping out of it. Even if it can be done, nobody is going to get a piece of cake they like very much. Still, DPT has good directing, good acting, a lot of nice concept work. Give props to somebody. Why not give them to Audrey t.A.T.u. for being so cute?

Nutritional Equivalent: A piece of crumbling half-eaten cake with fingerprints in the frosting